You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
