This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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