So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
