just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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