Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
