i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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