Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I cannot find my penis.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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