Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
