Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
