We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
