Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i need some magic done to my vagina
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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