I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Be still, my beating vagina.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
