She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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