Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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