i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
