Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my liver is dry heaving
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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