No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
how drunk are you?
Several
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
