what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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