New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
