I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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