tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I sprained my soul last night
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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