So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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