My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
