did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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