I think my fart just growled at me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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