I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
