i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
