I want to stick my p in your. b.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
