Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
