what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
