I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
