Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
