I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
