I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
