call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
