Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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