Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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