You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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