Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
