Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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