Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
