remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
organizing the empties. That sober.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
