my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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