You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
