He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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