Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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