so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
