if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
