mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
