I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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