And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
